It's a lot to process
they say, but it's not.
Just one thing, well
maybe two:

Death
Loss

The first is for the other
to contemplate
(experience?)

The second is for you
to "process"
(experience)
     rage against
     weep about
     die a little
     yourself.

And then there's
Guilt

interloper ever
present
inviting you to
"process" and move
away from the two and
embrace the third.

And finally
quietly
like a ghost itself
comes the next thing.

Fear

on its way
engulfing.

so here i am old
and alone
               obsessed
with earwax and
[in]adequacy
     [tumors
     tremors
     and death]

my world has shrunk
to this
          questions
arrive but go
unanswered

preferences slip
away
and almost nothing
flows but the ink in
my pen

and her lilies
untouched
by me
are blooming
in the yard