living on fantasy
     old war
movies and ball games

     drifting
     shaking

sleeping through
to the end

observing from
the outside

i comment
on myself
     
     so the details
will survive
in any
case

the man
     i never was
is missed

his absence
haunts the
days and
impossibilitates my
dreams

what never was
will never
be
     so i
except the loss

expecting nothing
less